Thursday, June 7, 2012

Graduation and Big Moves: Learning How to Say Goodbye and Welcome New Faces

As Purple Room friends and family know, we are experiencing a lot of changes in the coming weeks and months. On Friday, we had a fun and entertaining (though rather hot) ceremony to acknowledge all our friends moving off to Kindergarten in the fall. We are extremely proud of them, and we have no doubt they will go on to do great things. But our Kindergartners are not the only ones our friends will have to say goodbye to as the summer progresses. We have several friends moving on to different schools, and both Teacher Kate and I (Teacher Susan) will be leaving as well. While we are thrilled for the opportunities we have been presented, Creative Minds and the community we are leaving behind here will be sorely missed.

Our departure, along with the influx of some exciting new teachers, presents a unique opportunity to talk to friends about how we say goodbye to the old and welcome new faces into the community. We will be discussing this theme throughout the month, hearing from friends about times that they have moved away or even left family after a visit. How did you feel? Did you know when you would see them again? How did you handle it? What can you do to stay in touch? What did you do to say goodbye?

This week is not about us but about them- helping them to accept the changes that are happening and making their transition as easy as possible. Our staggered departures (mine this week, Teacher Kate's at the end of the month, students' throughout the summer) will allow the transition to be gradual. Children will be able to take time to deal with each individual loss and adapt to new faces and new interactions on a case by case basis.

We are preparing the children for the feelings and experiences they are likely to be having in the coming months while trying not to draw out the process of the loss itself. By focusing on past experiences and coping mechanisms as an overarching concept, we can avoid pointing repeatedly to the individual losses.

We are encouraging students to celebrate where friends and teachers are going, rather than dwell on the sadness of our leaving. Graduation was not only a ceremony, but a party- celebrating the accomplishments of the past and embracing the future and their undoubted success in Kindergarten and beyond. On Friday, we will be having a party to celebrate my departure as well- focusing on my exciting future endeavors in grad school while also acknowledging how much I will miss my friends. When Teacher Kate departs, she will be helping friends to understand how important it is for her- personally and professionally- to go with her family. In understanding why people are leaving, we can alleviate feelings of fault and abandonment.

As new adults join us in the Purple Room (Make sure you get to know Teacher Maria and Teacher Cecilia!), we want to make sure students are accepting them not as replacements for us but as new and interesting teachers, caregivers, and friends. As new friends come in, we want them to be welcomed with open arms, ready to jump in, never left on the outside as "newcomers". We celebrate their arrival, then treat them as if they've always been there.

In focusing on the future both here and for those who are leaving, we can keep friends feeling positive about changes and allow them to adapt more seamlessly to whatever comes their way.